What is your next Adventure for 2016!
It’s that time of year again when we exit the old year and bring in the New Year. Of course resolutions make up a big part of that celebrating of bringing in the New Year. It’s interesting to note that almost 80% of resolutions don’t get done. I wanted to share with you a true story about an event that happened to me in Sydney Australia and it very subtlety gets the point of what we need to do to make our plans and adventures happen. It’s only a 4-minute story but it might change your perspective on goal setting and resolutions and prepare for your next adventure.
Enjoy and let’s have a great 2016
Have you ever asked yourself the question “What would it look like if I became my personal best on my next adventure? Most people just rise to a level of acceptability and not excellence. A great question Mike Rayburn (www.MikeRayburn.com) raised during a recent presentation. “Have you resolved to be your best?” What do you think that would look like?
In today’s world most people coast through life and that’s fine. The one thing you need to recognize and understand is that the problem with coasting is that it’s all downhill. If comfort is your goal, success is not in your future.
So what does it take for you to become the best at what you do? Interesting question because most of us know what we need to do but we just don’t do it. This why a sense of purpose is so important to us. What are those goals and adventures that are so important we don’t want to approach them half-hearted or in a coasting mode? Do you really want to be a half-hearted spouse, parent, friend or co-worker? Every adventure we embark on has an impact on others and do we provide a positive impact? Anything worth doing is worth doing well. But sometimes we need help and this can be our biggest stumbling block.
You’ve heard people talk about being self-taught and we all teach ourselves quite a bit and the Internet makes it easier everyday. However sometimes when we are self-taught we fail to notice that our teachers aren’t great in every area. Take the time and effort to find good coaches to help you with you adventures. It can have a big impact.
Sometimes when we set out on a new adventure we start by compromising when setting our goals. We aim too low and wind up settling for mediocrity and second best. Instead, continue to work on asking the question “What if? What would this adventure look like? How could I make this happen and what would be the positive impact on those around me?”
Tough questions to ask, even tougher questions to answer when you are true to yourself. But by asking these questions and answering them truthfully, you define who you are as you embark on your next adventure.
Thanks for coming along!
There I was, working and planning away on my new adventure and feeling good about it. Then I had an opportunity to go see Mike Rayburn(www.MikeRayburn.com) live at a recent program. He was absolutely phenomenal. Not only a gifted musician and storyteller but he really got you thinking. He has a book titled “What If?” and I would suggest purchasing it on his website. I wanted to point out just a few key things Mike got me thinking about as I plan my new adventure.
He asks the question, “What if?” Not meaning that you are going to do it but rather just asking what is possible. What if I could? How would that work if I could?
He points out that our default behavior in life is that we look at or for reasons not to do things. Instead we should change our default behavior to where we look for reasons we can do things! A very simplistic but astute rationale on how we can get things done. He also points out the only way to manage change is to create change. Again our default behavior is to fight change. What if we shifted that to creating change and embracing change? It creates a completely different picture doesn’t it? The one thing we know to be true about our plans is that nothing ever goes according to plan! So embrace change.
Here is the reason for these default behaviors: We take problems and put them on a pedestal and worship them. Mike’s perspective is, quit driving through life with the brakes on and get creative. The world need’s our creativity. He lined out three steps to get started:
1. Outside Observation – get that 30,000-foot view of what you are dealing with and get a handle of the size and scope.
2. Take a problem or situation and say, “What is the Opportunity?” Then ask, “What if?”
3. Open up creativity and take physical action on it.
Here are a couple of his other thoughts, which will get your thinking moving in the right direction:
A. Set goals you can’t achieve, not 5-10% increases. What does it take to double what you want to do?
B. Don’t start with what’s possible?, start with what’s cool?. The type of goal it takes courage to think about.
A sense of purpose is the most motivating factor. What is your sense of purpose? Some good food for thought until next time.
Thanks for coming along.
Sometimes the most difficult item in coaching people is getting them to move forward. People are afraid of making mistakes and they hold back and don’t grow. If you think about martial arts, you start as a beginner and learn the basics of movement from using your, hands, elbows, feet, shins and your head. Each new belt you add skills. You make mistakes but learn along the way. In fact if you make the same mistake over and over in martial arts, you will have the bruises to show for it. The secret is not to repeat the mistake but rather to learn and grow from the mistakes and missteps and aggrandize.
In business and life it’s not always about being right all of the time but rather learning, growing and contributing. Once one becomes a black belt it doesn’t mean the journey is over. Rather it means the journey has just begun because now you have the skills to take it up to the next level. Keep working on your management and leadership skills the rewards are big.
Teaching and learning need to be in sync to be successful. Whether it is in school or the business world. To be able to learn and then apply your learning is even better. Sometimes we have material put before us and there is just not a connection nor an application. Simon Sinek has a very good TED Talk on How Great Leaders Inspire Action. It’s a few years old but if you haven’t seen it, it’s definitely worth watching.
Start with why — how great leaders inspire action | Simon Sinek | TEDxPugetSound https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u4ZoJKF_VuA
We are midway through the month of January and I’m already noticing a decrease in people at the fitness center. Right after the first of the year, people flocked into the fitness centers vowing to uphold their New Year’s resolutions to get into shape and lose weight with their new memberships. How are you doing with your resolutions?
In my book “Chemical Brain Freeze – How to Stay in the Game During Difficulty and Stress”, I discuss default behaviors and how we get off track from our goals and resolutions. Sometimes it’s understanding the unmet emotional needs that drive our behaviors, which can cause these to become default behaviors. Everyone has sincere thoughts and ideas about making changes. Sometimes it is health related, other times it just to get the benefits from getting back into shape.
I hear people talk about feeling self conscious about going to the fitness center to work out. That portion of the brain called the amygdala is warning us we may not feel like we fit in properly. Our default behavior kicks in and we wind up talking ourselves out of going to the gym. Here is the interesting aspect of this type of self-talk. We get all worked up about what other people may be thinking about us. In reality nobody cares what you do, they all think everyone is looking at them. To overcome our default behaviors in this situation we need to understand why we want to get fit with our resolutions.
If you take just a little bit of time to work on what your fitness goals are, such as losing weight, muscle toning or increasing aerobic time and then figure out what the rewards will be from these workouts during the week. Write them down and keep track on a calendar. Give yourself benchmarks. Celebrate when hit your goals. Simple effective way to overcome default behaviors.
Guess what? If you can overcome default behaviors that keep you from exercising you can use the same strategy for any goal you have set for 2015. Don’t wait until October to start working on your goals. Start now and watch what happens.
New book just released – “Chemical Brain Freeze® -How to Stay in the Game During Difficulty and Stress”. This is Chuck’s new book that demonstrates how to reach higher performance levels.
Our behaviors are affected by the fast-paced world we live in and the stress and difficulties that come with this hectic pace. We need to be at our best during the most stressful situations but our brain isn’t on the same wavelength. Chuck teaches you how to stay engaged in those stressful situations and perform at your best.
Chemical Brain Freeze® explores what happens when we get stressed out and how we can handle situations more productively:
• How the brain works during difficulty and stress
• How we get derailed from reaching our goals
You will learn:
• What you can do to stay in the game during pressure situations
• How to overcome default behaviors
• How to increase performance both professionally and personally
Go to the Chuck Inman on-line store or Amazon.com and purchase your copy today!
We have all heard that lazy people procrastinate. They just don’t want to put out the energy or effort to get things done. But now that we understand some basics about the brain, especially the amygdala, let’s take a look at procrastination and why it might be a survival function instead of laziness.
If you are a sales person, parent or teenager and have to make a phone call where the outcome is not a given, your amygdala will flare up and start talking to you. “If you make that phone call to the customer, you don’t know if that customer will appreciate your product or service. What if they say they don’t want it or need it, what do you say then?”
If you are a parent calling about your child’s behavior at school, absenteeism or grades, your amygdala is warning you, “You may get accused of being a bad parent, delinquent parent or uninterested parent in your child’s welfare.”
If you’re a teenager getting ready to call or even text for a date you may not be sure the person you are calling will say yes. And what if the conversation gets awkward?
Your amygdala warns you of the catastrophe you may encounter. By not doing the task the amygdala gets a break and goes “Ahhhhh, see told you so.” You get rewarded because the amygdala goes off high alert and you feel a soothing response. Everything is back to normal and you stay in a good mood.
“I’ll just do it tomorrow when things are better,” is a classic response we tell ourselves. And how many times have we encountered the next day being a whole lot better and more conducive to making that call? That’s what I thought, rarely.
Last week we talked about unmet emotional needs and the impact they play on our behavior. We had talked about the five key emotional needs consisting of: Safety, Power, Acceptance, Respect and Value. When we feel one of these needs is not being met, our brain sends out warning signals and our behavior can change.
Let’s take a look at how change can affect how we are feeling about ourselves, especially when dealing with the fear of the unknown.
I had a discussion with a surgeon who was complaining about a piece of equipment he had bought. It had cost him $80,000 but his staff wasn’t spending the appropriate amount of time learning how to use the equipment and getting it into the patient flow process.
Think about why people struggle with change. In the current mode people are recognized for their performance. Their rewards are based on this performance. They know the process, can multitask, balance out the workload, understand the patient flow and all the various intricacies of the process. Now you ask them to introduce a new piece of equipment that will interrupt the process as the staff goes through the learning curve. The staff is not familiar or confident in running the machine and even less confident in answering questions by patients.
They begin to question their value. Will they be as effective and be able to provide the same performance as they have in the past? They second-guess quite a bit about having to use the equipment. The piece of equipment begins to take on a negative nature.
As the surgeon watches the piece of equipment gather dust he realizes that if it doesn’t get into the process quickly, he is going to have a very expensive boat anchor on his hands.
The amygdala portion of the brain picks up warning signals about this piece of equipment and the staff ‘s struggle with getting trained on the equipment and getting it into use. Many times one of the key warning signals is the fear of the unknown. How will this equipment affect our process? How will it affect our workload? Will we be able to process more patients faster or fewer patients? Will someone lose a job because this equipment is utilized?
The best way to soothe the amygdala is at the beginning of the change process. Communication is key at this point and the time spent explaining why the equipment is coming into the practice is time well spent. Don’t assume the explanation has to be done only once. Get someone trained on the equipment fast enough so they can help train others and take away the fear of the unknown. So many times sales reps show staff what the equipment can do but don’t allow for hands-on-training. The hands-on-training takes the fear of the unknown away.
Anytime you can remove a fear, you’re moving in the right direction.
Thanks for coming along.
Over the last several blogs we have been covering Chemical Brain Freezes (CBFs) from what they are to how do you keep them from occurring. Now that we understand the brain science a little bit, it makes sense to discover why we don’t always do the big things that need to get done.
You’ve heard the expression “Play big, don’t play small!” haven’t you? It refers to taking the steps to accomplish some of the big things that need to be completed. Sometimes this means having those difficult conversations and speaking up when required. Playing small is when we send an e-mail or a text message instead of meeting someone face-to-face or over the phone for a critical conversation. Playing small is not speaking up in a meeting when the group is asked if anyone has any input. Instead two days later you put out an e-mail and try and address the issue. But as we all know e-mails and text messages have no tonality and can be interpreted in many different ways.
Now here comes the science on why we do this over and over again.
The amazing amygdala, will sense danger when you consider having a face-to-face or phone call with someone. It goes through the catastrophizing stage of assuming everything that could go wrong will go wrong. This portion of the brain is trying to protect you from the fears and feelings of being vulnerable. You can get yourself so worked up thinking about all the bad things, which could happen that you don’t pick up the phone and call or have that face-to-face meeting. You calm yourself down by telling yourself you’ll send a text or e-mail message and your amygdala cools down, you don’t go into a full blown out CBF and your breathing returns to normal. You actually think you are in a good place because you have calmed down and now with all sorts of clarity you are assuming you are doing the best thing possible for the situation. In reality, you have resorted back to default behaviors and playing small.
It takes courage to meet someone one-on-one or pick up the phone. Exceptional leaders know the value of playing big and crossing over to the other person’s side to gain their perspective. They may not always agree, but they do understand the importance because they play big. They can get over how they feel and then focus on how to accomplish the goal in the best way possible.
Watch how your body responds the next time you have an important meeting or have to make a key phone call. Do you feel your heart rate pick up? Does your breathing get shallow? Stop, take a couple of deep breaths, go to your gratitude story and then ask yourself, “What are the advantages of ‘Playing Big’ right now. Will it matter in 3 minutes? 3 days? 3 weeks? or 3 months? Now you have your neo-cortex back in the game, you’ve regrouped. Now you can walk into the room looking forward to playing big or pick up the phone expecting some good results from playing big. Exceptional leaders play big and they also know how to keep others they deal with playing big. More on keeping yourself in the game in the next blog.
Thanks for coming along.