• Chemical Brain Freeze

Non-effective Listening – A Negative Default Behavior

 

Non-effective listening, did you ever think it was a major negative default behavior?  Working with Baby Boomers, I’ve found one very interesting characteristic of those retried or getting ready to retire.  It has to do with listening effectively.  Baby Boomers talk about their dreams and goals in retirement but (http://adventurejerky.com) sometimes they don’t express these ideas very distinctly with their partners.  Sometimes there is a fear of their goals not being accepted or even being rejected.  When this type of fear appears, we move into what we call “default behaviors.”  We actually avoid key conversations because we worry about what the outcome may be.  Maybe we worry the conversation may go in the wrong direction and we don’t get a chance to work on our goals.

Here is the key to having great conversations, it’s not about what we have to say.  That’s right, it’s not always about what we have to say.  But rather showing empathy and listening to what the other person has to say. It’s amazing what happens when empathy is applied to a conversation, especially key conversations.

So, what are the keys to really good listening?  First, we need to understand our default behavior when we have a conversation.  In most conversations, we don’t listen to understand but rather we listen in order to reply.  We actually wait for when there is a break in the conversation.  When our partner pauses for a breath, we jump in with our perspective or our bit of advice. We almost fear silence and jump in to squelch that silence.  This default behavior is believing the important part of communication is what we say.   When actually the listening step to hear what the other person has to say is most important.

It is fascinating to watch what happens when another person feels like they are being listened to effectively.  They open up and suddenly they are receptive to what you have to say.  All of a sudden goals and dreams get discussed in earnest and open, honest conversation takes place.

Think about the impact we could have with family members, friends and peers if we changed our listening skills.   Where we truly try to listen to what the other person is saying. If we listen with the intent to truly understand, people will share with us what their goals, wants and needs are.  They will also share the solutions they are looking for to possibly solve these needs.

Effective listening with the intent to understand, it takes practice but it is well worth the effort.

Be sure to tune into our new radio program “The Adventures of Unstructured Time” with your hosts Chuck Inman and Ron Hoesterey. We cover stories and concepts dealing with Baby Boomers plans for retirement. The program will be aired on 21.6 THE NET 11:00-12:00AM CST on Monday mornings and a repeat of the recorded program on Tuesdays from 7:00-8:00pm, Wednesdays 3:00-4:00PM, Thursdays 6:00-7:00PM and Fridays 11:00-12:00AM, again at 21.6 THE NET. You can also find the show as a podcast on Anchor.FM

Thanks for coming along

 

 

Announcing the launch of “The Adventures of Unstructured Time” radio program

It is with pleasure to announce the introduction of a new internet radio show that will start on Monday, September 10th airing from 11:00-12:00AM CST at 21.6 THE NET.  “The Adventures of Unstructured Time” will air every Monday during this time period.  Co-hosting the show will be author and speaker Chuck Inman along with author and radio host “Rancher Ron” Hoesterery.  We will be discussing the non-financial issues baby boomers deal with in retirement or as they get ready to retire.

A key component of the program will be discussing elements such as the impact retirement has on relationships, priorities, planning, default behaviors, decision making and much more.  You know all those things we wrestle with trying to figure out our best journey in retirement. There will be a key component concerning the effect of Chemical Brain Freezes and how to stay in the game during difficulty and stress.

Some of the most stressful situations we find ourselves entangled with in regards to retirement are dealing with facing the unknown of the future.  Retired or getting close to retirement there are plenty of unknowns which we encounter. Understanding how the brain works during stressful situations is key to positive self-leadership and providing a path through the unknown.

So be sure to tune into this new program “The Adventures of Unstructured Time” with your hosts Chuck Inman and Ron Hoesterey. The program will be aired on 21.6 THE NET 11:00-12:00AM CST on Monday mornings and a repeat of the recorded program on Wednesdays 3:00-4:00PM, Thursdays 6:00-7:00PM and Fridays 11:00-12:00AM, again at 21.6 THE NET.

 

Teaching and Learning Need to be in Sync

Michael J FoxTeaching and learning need to be in sync to be successful. Whether it is in school or the business world. To be able to learn and then apply your learning is even better. Sometimes we have material put before us and there is just not a connection nor an application. Simon Sinek has a very good TED Talk on How Great Leaders Inspire Action. It’s a few years old but if you haven’t seen it, it’s definitely worth watching.
Start with why — how great leaders inspire action | Simon Sinek | TEDxPugetSound
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u4ZoJKF_VuA

Default Behaviors and Resolutions

2015 resolutionsWe are midway through the month of January and I’m already noticing a decrease in people at the fitness center. Right after the first of the year, people flocked into the fitness centers vowing to uphold their New Year’s resolutions to get into shape and lose weight with their new memberships. How are you doing with your resolutions?
In my book “Chemical Brain Freeze – How to Stay in the Game During Difficulty and Stress”, I discuss default behaviors and how we get off track from our goals and resolutions. Sometimes it’s understanding the unmet emotional needs that drive our behaviors, which can cause these to become default behaviors. Everyone has sincere thoughts and ideas about making changes. Sometimes it is health related, other times it just to get the benefits from getting back into shape.
I hear people talk about feeling self conscious about going to the fitness center to work out. That portion of the brain called the amygdala is warning us we may not feel like we fit in properly. Our default behavior kicks in and we wind up talking ourselves out of going to the gym. Here is the interesting aspect of this type of self-talk. We get all worked up about what other people may be thinking about us. In reality nobody cares what you do, they all think everyone is looking at them. To overcome our default behaviors in this situation we need to understand why we want to get fit with our resolutions.
If you take just a little bit of time to work on what your fitness goals are, such as losing weight, muscle toning or increasing aerobic time and then figure out what the rewards will be from these workouts during the week. Write them down and keep track on a calendar. Give yourself benchmarks. Celebrate when hit your goals. Simple effective way to overcome default behaviors.
Guess what? If you can overcome default behaviors that keep you from exercising you can use the same strategy for any goal you have set for 2015. Don’t wait until October to start working on your goals. Start now and watch what happens.

“Chemical Brain Freeze® ” Book release

CBF Book photoF

New book just released – “Chemical Brain Freeze® -How to Stay in the Game During Difficulty and Stress”. This is Chuck’s new book that demonstrates how to reach higher performance levels.
Our behaviors are affected by the fast-paced world we live in and the stress and difficulties that come with this hectic pace. We need to be at our best during the most stressful situations but our brain isn’t on the same wavelength. Chuck teaches you how to stay engaged in those stressful situations and perform at your best.
Chemical Brain Freeze® explores what happens when we get stressed out and how we can handle situations more productively:
• How the brain works during difficulty and stress
• How we get derailed from reaching our goals

You will learn:
• What you can do to stay in the game during pressure situations
• How to overcome default behaviors
• How to increase performance both professionally and personally
Go to the Chuck Inman on-line store or Amazon.com and purchase your copy today!

What stops us from reaching our goals?

boy fishingWhen I was a small child, my family went fishing with my aunt and uncle at their favorite lake. To get to their boat you had to go down stairs to a raft and then paddle out in a small skiff to retrieve the boat. I am one of the first on the raft along with my aunt and uncle. Before I put on my life jacket, I walk over to the edge of the raft and fall into the lake.

Aunt Pauline is in shock when she hears the splash and then can’t find me on the raft. She freezes in place. Uncle Bill moves quickly to the edge, grabs my arm and pulls me back up on the raft. I’m wet but no worse for wear.

Later Aunt Pauline confesses, “I was so shocked I couldn’t do anything. I couldn’t scream, move or think. I just stood there.”

Sometimes events in our lives, like watching someone fall off a raft, cause us to have a Chemical Brain Freeze®where we freeze and can’t move. But have you noticed there are times in our everyday lives where we feel stuck in a rut and we can’t move just like aunt Pauline? When we question why we aren’t moving forward and reaching our goals, we realize there are default behaviors holding us back.

In my new book coming out in a couple of weeks, Chemical Brain Freeze®– How to Stay in the Game during Difficulty and Stress, we look at default behaviors and reasons behind the behaviors that hold us back.

It is fascinating to understand what keeps us from becoming all that we can be and reaching the goals that are most important to us.

We’ll continue to explore this concept in the next couple of blogs.

Thanks for coming along.boy fishing

Reasons We Procrastinate

top ten reasons to procrastinateWe have all heard that lazy people procrastinate. They just don’t want to put out the energy or effort to get things done. But now that we understand some basics about the brain, especially the amygdala, let’s take a look at procrastination and why it might be a survival function instead of laziness.
If you are a sales person, parent or teenager and have to make a phone call where the outcome is not a given, your amygdala will flare up and start talking to you. “If you make that phone call to the customer, you don’t know if that customer will appreciate your product or service. What if they say they don’t want it or need it, what do you say then?”
If you are a parent calling about your child’s behavior at school, absenteeism or grades, your amygdala is warning you, “You may get accused of being a bad parent, delinquent parent or uninterested parent in your child’s welfare.”
If you’re a teenager getting ready to call or even text for a date you may not be sure the person you are calling will say yes. And what if the conversation gets awkward?
Your amygdala warns you of the catastrophe you may encounter. By not doing the task the amygdala gets a break and goes “Ahhhhh, see told you so.” You get rewarded because the amygdala goes off high alert and you feel a soothing response. Everything is back to normal and you stay in a good mood.
“I’ll just do it tomorrow when things are better,” is a classic response we tell ourselves. And how many times have we encountered the next day being a whole lot better and more conducive to making that call? That’s what I thought, rarely.

Thanks for coming along.

Default Behaviors Keeping Us From Reaching Our Goals

elder workoutWalking into the fitness center, I was ready to get through my workout with a minimal amount of pain.  Sitting down on a weight machine I go through my first set.  As I turn to adjust the weight for my second set, I hear a voice.
“Would mind doing the last two reps for me?”  the elderly gentleman says with a grin.
“It doesn’t get any easier the more you do it does it?” I ask him.
“No it doesn’t,” he says.
“Do you know what the secret to a good workout program is?” I ask him.
“I would love to know,” he says.
“What I have found out over the years is the key to consistent morning workouts is to get the feet over the side of the bed and onto the floor before the brain wakes up.” I respond.
He chuckles, “Isn’t that the truth.  If you just get moving and don’t think about it too much, it’s not as bad of an event as your brain can make it out to be if you let it think about it too much.  I’m 79 years old and have been working out three times per week for the last 10 years.”
“Did you work out before 10 years ago?” I ask.
“Oh no,” he replies. “I thought I was too old to work out in my 50’s and 60’s.  I hit 69 and my doctor told me I would really enjoy the benefits of working out and here I am, feeling good and lots of energy.”
How ironic is it, that we allow ourselves to paint a mental picture of what we can and can’t do and then for 20 years believe it so strong we don’t do it?  In this case, the elderly gentleman convinced himself he was too old to work out in his 50”s and 60’s so he didn’t.
In my new book Nimble, I refer to default behaviors we resort to which can hold us back from achieving the goals that are the most important to us.  We can set up mental roadblocks so strong we can go decades believing we can’t accomplish objectives.  Yet when we recognize these default behaviors and move through them we are almost always amazed at what we can accomplish.
What are your default behaviors, which are holding you back from being your best?  Take some time to analyze some of your most common excuses for why things don’t get accomplished.  You may find out you can get around those default behaviors and accomplish the goals most important to you.
Thanks for coming along.