• Chemical Brain Freeze

Non-effective Listening – A Negative Default Behavior

 

Non-effective listening, did you ever think it was a major negative default behavior?  Working with Baby Boomers, I’ve found one very interesting characteristic of those retried or getting ready to retire.  It has to do with listening effectively.  Baby Boomers talk about their dreams and goals in retirement but (http://adventurejerky.com) sometimes they don’t express these ideas very distinctly with their partners.  Sometimes there is a fear of their goals not being accepted or even being rejected.  When this type of fear appears, we move into what we call “default behaviors.”  We actually avoid key conversations because we worry about what the outcome may be.  Maybe we worry the conversation may go in the wrong direction and we don’t get a chance to work on our goals.

Here is the key to having great conversations, it’s not about what we have to say.  That’s right, it’s not always about what we have to say.  But rather showing empathy and listening to what the other person has to say. It’s amazing what happens when empathy is applied to a conversation, especially key conversations.

So, what are the keys to really good listening?  First, we need to understand our default behavior when we have a conversation.  In most conversations, we don’t listen to understand but rather we listen in order to reply.  We actually wait for when there is a break in the conversation.  When our partner pauses for a breath, we jump in with our perspective or our bit of advice. We almost fear silence and jump in to squelch that silence.  This default behavior is believing the important part of communication is what we say.   When actually the listening step to hear what the other person has to say is most important.

It is fascinating to watch what happens when another person feels like they are being listened to effectively.  They open up and suddenly they are receptive to what you have to say.  All of a sudden goals and dreams get discussed in earnest and open, honest conversation takes place.

Think about the impact we could have with family members, friends and peers if we changed our listening skills.   Where we truly try to listen to what the other person is saying. If we listen with the intent to truly understand, people will share with us what their goals, wants and needs are.  They will also share the solutions they are looking for to possibly solve these needs.

Effective listening with the intent to understand, it takes practice but it is well worth the effort.

Be sure to tune into our new radio program “The Adventures of Unstructured Time” with your hosts Chuck Inman and Ron Hoesterey. We cover stories and concepts dealing with Baby Boomers plans for retirement. The program will be aired on 21.6 THE NET 11:00-12:00AM CST on Monday mornings and a repeat of the recorded program on Tuesdays from 7:00-8:00pm, Wednesdays 3:00-4:00PM, Thursdays 6:00-7:00PM and Fridays 11:00-12:00AM, again at 21.6 THE NET. You can also find the show as a podcast on Anchor.FM

Thanks for coming along

 

 

Announcing the launch of “The Adventures of Unstructured Time” radio program

It is with pleasure to announce the introduction of a new internet radio show that will start on Monday, September 10th airing from 11:00-12:00AM CST at 21.6 THE NET.  “The Adventures of Unstructured Time” will air every Monday during this time period.  Co-hosting the show will be author and speaker Chuck Inman along with author and radio host “Rancher Ron” Hoesterery.  We will be discussing the non-financial issues baby boomers deal with in retirement or as they get ready to retire.

A key component of the program will be discussing elements such as the impact retirement has on relationships, priorities, planning, default behaviors, decision making and much more.  You know all those things we wrestle with trying to figure out our best journey in retirement. There will be a key component concerning the effect of Chemical Brain Freezes and how to stay in the game during difficulty and stress.

Some of the most stressful situations we find ourselves entangled with in regards to retirement are dealing with facing the unknown of the future.  Retired or getting close to retirement there are plenty of unknowns which we encounter. Understanding how the brain works during stressful situations is key to positive self-leadership and providing a path through the unknown.

So be sure to tune into this new program “The Adventures of Unstructured Time” with your hosts Chuck Inman and Ron Hoesterey. The program will be aired on 21.6 THE NET 11:00-12:00AM CST on Monday mornings and a repeat of the recorded program on Wednesdays 3:00-4:00PM, Thursdays 6:00-7:00PM and Fridays 11:00-12:00AM, again at 21.6 THE NET.

 

What’s your next Adventure for 2016!

What is your next Adventure for 20Sydney Blog16!
It’s that time of year again when we exit the old year and bring in the New Year. Of course resolutions make up a big part of that celebrating of bringing in the New Year. It’s interesting to note that almost 80% of resolutions don’t get done. I wanted to share with you a true story about an event that happened to me in Sydney Australia and it very subtlety gets the point of what we need to do to make our plans and adventures happen. It’s only a 4-minute story but it might change your perspective on goal setting and resolutions and prepare for your next adventure.
Enjoy and let’s have a great 2016

 

Being Your Best on Your Next Adventure

No coastingHave you ever asked yourself the question “What would it look like if I became my personal best on my next adventure? Most people just rise to a level of acceptability and not excellence. A great question Mike Rayburn (www.MikeRayburn.com) raised during a recent presentation. “Have you resolved to be your best?” What do you think that would look like?
In today’s world most people coast through life and that’s fine. The one thing you need to recognize and understand is that the problem with coasting is that it’s all downhill. If comfort is your goal, success is not in your future.
So what does it take for you to become the best at what you do? Interesting question because most of us know what we need to do but we just don’t do it. This why a sense of purpose is so important to us. What are those goals and adventures that are so important we don’t want to approach them half-hearted or in a coasting mode? Do you really want to be a half-hearted spouse, parent, friend or co-worker? Every adventure we embark on has an impact on others and do we provide a positive impact? Anything worth doing is worth doing well. But sometimes we need help and this can be our biggest stumbling block.
You’ve heard people talk about being self-taught and we all teach ourselves quite a bit and the Internet makes it easier everyday. However sometimes when we are self-taught we fail to notice that our teachers aren’t great in every area. Take the time and effort to find good coaches to help you with you adventures. It can have a big impact.
Sometimes when we set out on a new adventure we start by compromising when setting our goals. We aim too low and wind up settling for mediocrity and second best. Instead, continue to work on asking the question “What if? What would this adventure look like? How could I make this happen and what would be the positive impact on those around me?”
Tough questions to ask, even tougher questions to answer when you are true to yourself. But by asking these questions and answering them truthfully, you define who you are as you embark on your next adventure.
Thanks for coming along!

What’s your next Adventure?

Backpacking crossingThe great Helen Keller provided this prolific statement, “Life is either a daring adventure or nothing at all!” What a great way to look at our lives. Helen Keller overcame so much adversity and became an inspiration encouraging boldness and audacity. We may not have the adversity Helen Keller did, but we do have our ups and downs, our successes and failures and our starts and stops. Sometimes life doesn’t turn out exactly as we plan but the key question is, ”What do we do about it?”
I have watched people who have stumbled and they just struggle trying to get back up and moving forward. Sometimes they get moving again but its like they are in a fog and not really living life but rather just going through the motions.
What is it that we have to do to begin living the life we want to have and move in the direction of our dreams? In my book Chemical Brain Freeze, I talk about overcoming default behaviors and moving forward. These are some key thoughts to making a positive move in order to get you moving in the direction you want to go.
Sometimes it just makes sense to break things down into smaller steps.
Summer has just about come to an end and it was a great summer. We usually think of all kinds of adventures to be had during the summer months.
Now ask yourself the simple question; “What’s my next adventure?” What’s my next adventure for today? This week? Next month? Next year? Come up with an adventure and go make it happen. It can be such a positive experience. Don’t wait for something to come to you. Go make something happen and have fun with! You’ll be glad you did! In the weeks ahead I’ll fill you in on what I have been working on the last half of this summer and what an adventure I’ll be starting. Over 25 years ago I was told I couldn’t do something and I decided now was the time to go it.
Thanks for coming along!

Adventure Lessons

This week a good friend shared this perspective with me. He said, “The trouble with America today is that the adventure is gone.” I showed my grandson his Mom’s hiking stick she had wLittle man big stickhen she was little. It had feathers, a tiny pine cone and beads she had used to decorate it. I carved her name into the side of the stick. We journeyed for years. Each summer I would carve another summer hiking ring at the bottom for our adventures. There were 13 rings she had accrued, when I showed it to my grandson. I don’t know if he had a clue what it was I told him about heritage. He just picked up the stick and started walking. He has that adventure gene in him. The same gene that made America great. I think we may need more hiking sticks in America today. It’s still a great country full of adventure, even if 2 1/2yr olds teach us this lesson instead of today’s Congress. What is your next adventure?

Chemical Brain Freezes even in Professional Sports

I don’t follow NASCAR closely bGoDaddyut occasionally something comes up that is interesting. About a week ago a classical example of a Chemical Brain Freeze happened in NASCAR racing and I wanted to share with you. The key is to realize Chemical Brain Freezes occur in all occupations, sometimes regardless of the training.
Dale Earnhardt Jr. was continuing to defend his race series standings when leading in the race at Kentucky Speedway this incident happened. A bump from his No. 88 Chevrolet sent Danica Patrick’s car into the wall and ruined her race on Lap 207 of 267.
He stated that “I did not mean to wreck Patrick but a problem with my car’s brakes resulted in the contact.”
Upset about getting wrecked, Patrick drove into the back of Earnhardt’s car on pit road moments later and did not speak with reporters after the race. Keep in mind NASCAR cars cost anywhere from $125,000-$150,000.
“She flew off the handle, got pissed off, our spotters communicated and told her about the brakes, and she still ran into us on pit road for whatever reason,” Earnhardt said on his podcast.
Chemical Brain Freezes do happen and sometimes the consequences can have a major impact. What type of Chemical Brain Freezes do you see in your environment?

The Backwards Brain Bicycle

BicycleThere are times when we need to have a difficult conversation and it is just tough to turn that difficult conversation into a positive experience. Our brain does some very strange things during difficulty and stress and we wonder why it is so difficult to accomplish our goals.
This short video utilizes the skills of riding a bicycle to demonstrate how our brain works and the default behaviors we acquire. What is intriguing is the difficulty in overcoming these default behaviors. Consistency is a big factor in creating new constructive behaviors.
After watching this video think about the skill sets, behaviors and routines we have that come to us as easy as riding a bicycle but yet may be holding us back from what we want to achieve. We may not even be aware of these behaviors until we start to analyze why we haven’t reached all of goals.

Copy and paste into your browser to watch this unique video. (Smarter Every Day 133)

http://www.bing.com/videos/search?q=smarter+every+day+forget+to+ride+a+bike&FORM=VIRE1#view=detail&mid=F706017762DDD03B719DF706017762DDD03B719D

Default Behaviors and Resolutions

2015 resolutionsWe are midway through the month of January and I’m already noticing a decrease in people at the fitness center. Right after the first of the year, people flocked into the fitness centers vowing to uphold their New Year’s resolutions to get into shape and lose weight with their new memberships. How are you doing with your resolutions?
In my book “Chemical Brain Freeze – How to Stay in the Game During Difficulty and Stress”, I discuss default behaviors and how we get off track from our goals and resolutions. Sometimes it’s understanding the unmet emotional needs that drive our behaviors, which can cause these to become default behaviors. Everyone has sincere thoughts and ideas about making changes. Sometimes it is health related, other times it just to get the benefits from getting back into shape.
I hear people talk about feeling self conscious about going to the fitness center to work out. That portion of the brain called the amygdala is warning us we may not feel like we fit in properly. Our default behavior kicks in and we wind up talking ourselves out of going to the gym. Here is the interesting aspect of this type of self-talk. We get all worked up about what other people may be thinking about us. In reality nobody cares what you do, they all think everyone is looking at them. To overcome our default behaviors in this situation we need to understand why we want to get fit with our resolutions.
If you take just a little bit of time to work on what your fitness goals are, such as losing weight, muscle toning or increasing aerobic time and then figure out what the rewards will be from these workouts during the week. Write them down and keep track on a calendar. Give yourself benchmarks. Celebrate when hit your goals. Simple effective way to overcome default behaviors.
Guess what? If you can overcome default behaviors that keep you from exercising you can use the same strategy for any goal you have set for 2015. Don’t wait until October to start working on your goals. Start now and watch what happens.

“Chemical Brain Freeze® ” Book release

CBF Book photoF

New book just released – “Chemical Brain Freeze® -How to Stay in the Game During Difficulty and Stress”. This is Chuck’s new book that demonstrates how to reach higher performance levels.
Our behaviors are affected by the fast-paced world we live in and the stress and difficulties that come with this hectic pace. We need to be at our best during the most stressful situations but our brain isn’t on the same wavelength. Chuck teaches you how to stay engaged in those stressful situations and perform at your best.
Chemical Brain Freeze® explores what happens when we get stressed out and how we can handle situations more productively:
• How the brain works during difficulty and stress
• How we get derailed from reaching our goals

You will learn:
• What you can do to stay in the game during pressure situations
• How to overcome default behaviors
• How to increase performance both professionally and personally
Go to the Chuck Inman on-line store or Amazon.com and purchase your copy today!